on chaos, hospital visits and everyday life

Well, I’ve been in the hospital again. Actually, I am currently sitting in a hospital bed typing this. Which I think is just another way that the Lord is teaching me humility. And humility is not an easy lesson for me. It usually involves a lot of figurative hair pulling, feet dragging and gnashing of teeth. But alas, in this season, He is molding and refining me in more ways than I can count, including continuing to cultivate humility in me.

It can be terribly hard not to get caught up in the chaos that is everyday life in India. Hard to not get so frustrated with lack of scheduling, how often plans change at the last minute, how often I’m put on the spot. Hard to not get apathetic towards all of the tough issues facing this society. Hard to not be so sad about all of the people worshipping idols made of plaster, offering expensive jewelry and food to their idols when there are 70,000 homeless people living on the streets of this city. Hard to not be frustrated with the language barrier and how hard learning Hindi is.

But it’s in these moments, where the Lord keeps telling me over and over again.

“Do you believe that I am bigger than all of this?” 

“Do you believe that I am bigger than whatever is making you sick?”

“Do you believe that I am bigger than Hinduism?”

“Do you believe that I am bigger than the violence against women that is imbedded so deeply in this culture?”

“Do you believe that I can heal all the wounds of the kids that you work with?”

“Do you believe that I am making all things new and that I won’t leave anyone as orphans?”

And when I stop and listen and quit thinking about what I can do; because really, I can’t do anything. I can only love through Christ. He must become greater, I must become less. When I truly stop, I know that He is all that He says He is. I believe in a God that is so much bigger than anything that I can comprehend. I believe in a God that is all about rescue. A God that restores things as if they had never been taken. A God that loves women (and men) and hates violence. A God that cares about “the least of these”. A God that doesn’t leave us or forsake us, even when we are full of doubt. I believe that He is making all things new, that beauty will come out of all the ashes around us.

As far as my most recent hospital visit, I am fine. Just had to stay 2 nights to get fluids in me and get on more antibiotics. They aren’t really sure what has caused either one of my infections but hopefully this will be my last stay in the hospital. Just be praying that the antibiotics will really knock out whatever this infection is for good.

Also, shout out to the KFBC AWANA kids! We are so excited that you all are following our blog and praying for us! We hope that you are learning about how much God loves missions and kids all over the world! Thank you so much for your prayers!!


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