i wake up every morning and my first thought is “what day is it?”. we’ve been unemployed since july 4th. and it has been glorious. but every single day feels like a friday. if friday was filled with calling companies & canceling services, explaining that you’re moving to india, packing, repacking, more packing, spending time with friends & family and trying to spend some quality time together. it’s really a weird thing. to be on vacation but also preparing for the biggest move of our lives. not to mention, moving to india makes me want to break out all of my leaving for college songs. so if anyone hears me humming “Here’s to the Nights” or “Good Riddance (Time of your Life)”, you’ll know i gave in.
the thing is, i don’t know how to move to india. sure, i know how to cancel directv, entergy, etc. i know how to obtain international insurance, open a new bank account, raise support, write a million thank you notes and pack everything we’ll need for the next two years. but i don’t know how to do the big stuff. how do i say goodbye? how do emotionally prepare for not seeing my dog for 2 years? how do i deal with not being there for a very important birth? how do i miss all the birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, etc? how do i live fully here right now with one foot in the country and one foot in india? and how do i not spend my days reflecting on if i’ve been a good friend? if i’ve stewarded my time well? did i love well? did i make the most of every opportunity?
the answer is Jesus.
He’s the only way that i can prepare for this monumental move in our life. He gives wisdom on doing things that we’ve never done before. and he never gets tired of me asking for wisdom. sometimes i’m asking for wisdom on how to leave well. sometimes i’m asking how to love well in situations i’ve never encountered. sometimes i’m just asking for wisdom on how to properly handle our affairs. often i’m asking for wisdom coupled with humility. and He always comes through. he shows me how to do things that i’ve never done with a confidence as if i’ve done them a hundred times. he gives more grace. and he is continuously refining me through it.
and so i am learning. learning how to leave gracefully. how to say goodbye. and soon i will be learning how to bloom where i am planted. and He has wisdom to give for each situation. and i am confident that he always will. because the creator of the universe knows the way that i take and he will complete what he appoints for me.
“But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.”